I will be leaving Meherabad next Tuesday and India early Wednesday morning. It is hard to put into words how I feel, it is such a profound sense of home. It is like my bones and the earth are the same. My heart feels safe here, cherished, worthy, not because of how I look or what I wear, just because I am.
My adopted dad was the first person in my life who truly loved me, he took on a mothering, and a fatherly role in my life. I emailed him earlier and told him how I feel about leaving. I said, you are my first mother and India is my second. It is like being in the womb, on the bosom of a great Mother. Things make more sense here somehow, overall. Of course some stuff drives me crazy, and every country has its corruption, cruelty, and pain. At a heart level though there is no place else for me.
Life in the US is opportune, exciting, development enhancing in many ways. At a spiritual level though I understand why we are so divided, at odds with each other, unhappy, grabbing at stuff…it is this baseline of God’s love, spiritual meaning, oneness that we lack, that we are all so hungry for. We don’t even know what we are missing. The only reason I know it is missing for me is because I have the privilege, the great good fortune to have come here, over and over again, and to be here now.
One thing I know for sure, I will be back. God willing, I will come again next year and the following, staying longer and longer each time. I am committed to my pup, to see him through til the end, to love him and cherish him each and every day. I am grateful to be single and to have no children who depend on me. If you are single, alone, do not despair. There are so many advantages to it. If you have a mate, kids, a full life, then this is where the spiritual path is, in serving and loving God in them.
For now I will enjoy being here, packing up bit by bit to make my transition a bit easier at the end.
I send each of you who reads this Love from your Mother.